Nighttime Tricks

I've been saving this little nugget for a slow blogging week. I'm sure in no time these two will be ready for the circus. Landon clearly needs to join his cousin Brooklyn in her gymnastic classes.

What Manner of Man Are Ye?

My Grandfather was an incredible handyman. In fact there wasn't much he couldn't fix... with duct tape and bailing wire that is. He really could fix ANYTHING. Accuracy however wasn't his strength. In fact when it came to the finish of the job, a popular phrase he would say was, "we ain't building a piano!" It was his way of saying getting the job done and functional was more important than exactness. It doesn't have to be fixed with such precision that Beethoven could play it.

Which brings me to the last few days at our house. Jill has decided that it is time to get rid of the 1994 wall paper that the original homeowner put up in the kitchen. This of course means a whole lot of work for me, as I am the painter of the family. This is, according to Jill, because her father always did the painting and he NEVER allowed his children to help paint.



Not this time! Jill was going to help me paint so she could appreciate the work that goes into the project, and if I do it right, it will prevent Jill from EVER wanting to paint again.



After hours of prep work, we spent much of the day Conference Saturday painting our bathroom, washing machine room, and entry room from the garage. It took FOREVER and we went to bed at 2:00 a.m. Saturday night! Monday and Tuesday we have been painting the kitchen.

It has been very fun to see Jill learn the tricks of painting. As you paint, there are many difficult places to reach. The perfectionist in Jill would like to paint those places. I pointed out to her that when you look close, those places have never ever been painted before! Eight years of living here and she had never noticed that these nooks have never been painted. It's okay to let them slide.

While painting the kitchen it occurred to me that No one would ever see behind the refrigerator and oven.



My Grandfathers words kept ringing in my ears, "we ain't building a piano". The timing was perfect because Jill was upstairs giving the children a bath. What to do? What manner of man aught I to be? Should I be a perfectionist spending extra time painting a wall that will never be seen, or let it slide and move on so I could finish the project in time to watch American Idol? What kind of person are you?

As we finished up the project there were some corners and edges that just didn't quite look right. Throughout the painting project Jill kept talking about a tool that allows you to paint without taping. "Come on honey" I said in my mind. I'm the man and tools are my department. I know tools!

I never entertained the painting tool because I knew better. Jill finally went to the paint store and bought the tool for under $3. This by far is the most amazing thing a person can buy for under $3! Even 3 things on the dollar menu at Wendy's doesn't even come close to this amazing tool.

As pointed out to me by my brother in law, running partners, and coworkers the only people who blog are women. So let me share this tip with my blogging audience. I know your all women, so you need to buy this tool for your husbands. Don't bother telling them about the tool, because trust me they will blow you off. Just go buy the tool and tell them you heard it might help.

This tool has changed my life and I just may paint again next weekend.

Here is a picture of the tool, and you all need to go buy one right now. It is a pad with little wheels on one side. You use it to cut in on the edges and corners and it saves hours and hours of prep time.



If you want to know if I painted behind the refrigerator, you'll just need to come over and visit.

After 4 Years it has Finally Happened!!!

A picture is worth a thousand words! In this case a video prevents a thousand words. For those who do not know when I was a boy my parents named me the "Mouth of the South." I thought it was because when I was 10 I liked WWF Wrestling and there was a joker who was named the Mouth of the South.

Come to find out I had the nickname first and the name was given to me because I used to talk a lot. By a lot I mean all the time. Well my boys have taken my talent and taken it to the next level. In fact my Dad said when referring to Logan, "you put in a nickel and get a buck 25."

This picture is my boys watching a movie. Jill and I wrestle with how much t.v. time the kids should get. We would rather teach them and have them engaged in good works. The trouble is when I have two boys that's a total of $2.50 and remember I only put in a dime.

When we put movies on, BOTH boys now will watch. I've waited for this day for 4 long years. It's so great not to have them asking questions in machine gun fashion. They don't fight, hit, argue, or put their hands on each other when a cartoon is on. I'm forced to ask myself, how can something we are told is so bad..... be so good?

Jill is such a wonderful, smart, patient mother she likes to spend time with them. But let the record show, on Wednesday nights when she has to go to church meetings, the boys will watch a lot of t.v.

Best Week of the Year for Sports!

So this is the best week of the year for sports fans everywhere. Indeed the NBA finals are cool, baseball fans like the World Series, and the Superbowl is the best single event. Not even to mention Golf, Nascar, or the American Idol finale.

I love playing hookey from work to watch part of the Madness. This week displays the ultimate of what sports stands for. We get to see Cinderella stories, upsets, and of course the bracketology. For you linguists out there yes bracketology is a word in the month of March.

I've never been all that great at picking brackets in the local office pool. After 16 years of picking March Maddness brackets this much I know. NEVER NEVER NEVER bet on the Cougars of BYU. As a loyal Cougar fan this has been very disapointing to me. The Cougs have hurt me real bad.

Good luck to everyone out there as you experience the emotional highs and lows of the next few weeks.

Oh by the way I got a promotion at work and now my title is Associate Vice President.

I fought the law and...... I won!

One of the major differences between my wife and I is our taste in cities. I went to school in Cedar City, population 28,000 (at the time) and she went to a University that had that many people enrolled! While I would be perfectly content living in small town American, she likes the big city. We have compromised and have settled in the suburbs.

My distaste for big cities goes beyond not liking them. I really don't care for big cities at all. I don't like all the people and the difficulty of getting from point A to point B.

So I went downtown about a month ago to see a basketball game. Not just any game, but the Lakers V Jazz. Great game and the Jazz won! However when I got to my car to drive home, there was a parking ticket on my windshield. I HATE DOWNTOWN! As a side-note about a year ago I went to a Jazz V Laker game, got a parking ticket, and in my anger got a speeding ticket 5 minutes later!

This time I'd had enough and it's time to stand up for myself say, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

I decided to take on City Hall! My infraction was parking to close to a fire hydrant. "Too close" is defined as 5 feet on either side of a line drawn from the fire hydrant to the curb.

Clearly the reason why parking isn't allowed is for the safety of the citizens. Emergency vehicles may need to access the hydrant and need that space for hoses.

It occurred to me that throughout the city, there are tons of legal parking spots in violation of this city code. "Wait, how is this so?", your asking yourself. Well, the way it works is if you PAY a PARKING MEETER then it's perfectly legal to violate the city parking code.


Hypocrisy, Double Standard, Greed. These are just a few of the words that describe this practice. I took my case to Salt Lake Cities hearing officer and she got so angry with my position we took a field trip outside the courtroom to see first hand a parking meeter within 2 feet of a hydrant! She got even more angry and told me I was guilty and would need to pay an additional $75 (nuisance fee) if I wanted to see a judge to present my case.

Let it be known that my youngest child gets his stubborn streak from his father. I would rather pay the extortion money and see a judge to state my case, than concede to the hearing officer (cashier).

Today was my day in court. I took my case to the city of Salt Lake City, and won! Clearly I need to take my fancy lawyering skills to the next level. I wonder if California needs help defending prop 8?

It was music to my ears to hear those beautiful words.... "Case Dismissed!"

Selective Reduction

Just in case you've been living in a cave, I thought I would introduce you to the newest buzz word in the news lately. That word is Selective Reduction. This word was made popular with the announcement of octuplets that were born in California last week. The mother didn't want to be identified for obvious reasons. She has 6 children under the age of 7, and therein lie many ethical questions about the fashion in which she became pregnant.

As most of you know, Jill and I know a little something about in vitro fertilization. While going through this process we were all too familiar with the word "Selective Reduction". This means that when a woman is pregnant with multiple children, there is an argument that for the health of the mother and the children, some of the children should be aborted.

Abortion is a hot button that evokes strong feelings from both sides of the isle. Selective Reduction is a politically correct term for abortion. While many feel very strongly about a child's right to life, selective reduction can lead some to believe that it's not the same as abortion. Those people are wrong. Taking a child's life is wrong.

Of course placing 8 or more embryo's in a woman's uterus is horrible judgement. While aborting an unborn child is counter to God's will, it could also be argued that God's will was for that woman not to get pregnant. Science helps many couples become families, although there are other alternatives that should be thoughtfully and prayerfully considered before this step.

Each day there are babies born that need a loving father and mother. My running partner, at the time Jill and I considered in vitro, had adopted 8 children. On our long runs we had some amazing discussions about eternal families, and bringing the gospel to children who otherwise would not have had this blessing.

No doctor or woman in their right mind would even consider using 8 embryo's. In some cases for women older than 35, using 3 embryo's is a consideration. When those embryo's all take, these babies run the risk of serious health problems. Also the mother will spend her entire pregnancy on bed-rest.

I feel for all couples who struggle with infertility. This is a very private matter that should be looked at on all levels. It's a decision that should be made by a husband, a wife, a licensed infertility doctor, and God. Once the decision has been made it's not for anyone else to criticize that decision.

Responsibility is a word that has lost most of it's meaning in today's bailout world. It's too bad that it has also been neglected in this case of a California woman and her desire for children. With 14 children under the age of 7, no father in the picture, and no gainful employment, this story should be the poster child for the word irresponsible.

No More Naps

So I'm totally turning into a blogger chick with these posts entirely about my kids, but this just had to be published so all of my blogging family loyalists could see.

For about two years now the only solace Jill gets is when Landon takes his afternoon nap, and Logan gets to watch a T.V. show. In the entire day this is when Jill gets to be productive, and not chase after, clean up, intervene, or break up a fight between our two sons.

That all stopped today. After putting Landon in his crib so Jill could do her thing, to her dismay ..... he came walking out of the room. "Wait, this isn't how it's supposed to work."

Well sure it is if your boy has mad crib climbing skills.




Not sure how to fix this little dilemma, but it's captured for when his kids get this savvy and we can show him that they get their special gift from their father.