Selective Reduction

Just in case you've been living in a cave, I thought I would introduce you to the newest buzz word in the news lately. That word is Selective Reduction. This word was made popular with the announcement of octuplets that were born in California last week. The mother didn't want to be identified for obvious reasons. She has 6 children under the age of 7, and therein lie many ethical questions about the fashion in which she became pregnant.

As most of you know, Jill and I know a little something about in vitro fertilization. While going through this process we were all too familiar with the word "Selective Reduction". This means that when a woman is pregnant with multiple children, there is an argument that for the health of the mother and the children, some of the children should be aborted.

Abortion is a hot button that evokes strong feelings from both sides of the isle. Selective Reduction is a politically correct term for abortion. While many feel very strongly about a child's right to life, selective reduction can lead some to believe that it's not the same as abortion. Those people are wrong. Taking a child's life is wrong.

Of course placing 8 or more embryo's in a woman's uterus is horrible judgement. While aborting an unborn child is counter to God's will, it could also be argued that God's will was for that woman not to get pregnant. Science helps many couples become families, although there are other alternatives that should be thoughtfully and prayerfully considered before this step.

Each day there are babies born that need a loving father and mother. My running partner, at the time Jill and I considered in vitro, had adopted 8 children. On our long runs we had some amazing discussions about eternal families, and bringing the gospel to children who otherwise would not have had this blessing.

No doctor or woman in their right mind would even consider using 8 embryo's. In some cases for women older than 35, using 3 embryo's is a consideration. When those embryo's all take, these babies run the risk of serious health problems. Also the mother will spend her entire pregnancy on bed-rest.

I feel for all couples who struggle with infertility. This is a very private matter that should be looked at on all levels. It's a decision that should be made by a husband, a wife, a licensed infertility doctor, and God. Once the decision has been made it's not for anyone else to criticize that decision.

Responsibility is a word that has lost most of it's meaning in today's bailout world. It's too bad that it has also been neglected in this case of a California woman and her desire for children. With 14 children under the age of 7, no father in the picture, and no gainful employment, this story should be the poster child for the word irresponsible.

No More Naps

So I'm totally turning into a blogger chick with these posts entirely about my kids, but this just had to be published so all of my blogging family loyalists could see.

For about two years now the only solace Jill gets is when Landon takes his afternoon nap, and Logan gets to watch a T.V. show. In the entire day this is when Jill gets to be productive, and not chase after, clean up, intervene, or break up a fight between our two sons.

That all stopped today. After putting Landon in his crib so Jill could do her thing, to her dismay ..... he came walking out of the room. "Wait, this isn't how it's supposed to work."

Well sure it is if your boy has mad crib climbing skills.




Not sure how to fix this little dilemma, but it's captured for when his kids get this savvy and we can show him that they get their special gift from their father.

How do you make tough choices?

Each of us make choices each day. Should I wake up early to get a jump start on the day before the children wake up? Should I make my wife happy and lower the toilet seat? That 3rd piece of Papa Murphy's Pizza sure looks good. Some choices are less significant and don't make dramatic differences in our lives. While other choices cary so much weight they determine our life's outcome. Which college should I attend, should I marry her, can I make a living doing what I love eating fast food? (Thanks Morgan Spurlock for giving us all hope).



This morning on our weekly Saturday run with a few guys in my neighborhood, there was much to discuss. Two of us had run a 1/2 marathon the week before, and the other had been camping in the snowy mountains of Utah with his 12 year old son earning "Who Really Camps in the Snow Anyway" Merit Badge.

The relationship I have with my running partners has really been strengthened over the past year as we have been running each week together (Take note lady readers.... Relationships, feelings, and Twighlight will not be talked about beyond this point). We have spent a lot of time together waking up early each weekend to spend an hour or two together, sharing, laughing, crying..... okay not crying. We run together, we laugh at each other, and we provide lots of "teaching material" to the one who is our church's Sunday School Teacher. Luckily he doesn't take any of our "suggestions", although if he would he could get released.... but that's another blog for another day.

For 3 years my two running partners have participated in the Wasatch Back Relay race. This is a 178 mile relay run through the mountains of Utah beginning in Logan and ending outside of Park City. 12 runners participate and run 3 sections of up to 7 miles. To complete this course it takes a team somewhere around 24 hours to finish. Spending this much time together further unifies the bond that runners share.



Each year this race falls on the 3rd weekend in June. The 3rd weekend in June is a significant date for the Bryant Family. For the last 15 years, this has been the date chosen by our elders as the time to work on our mountain property. We work together falling trees with chainsaws, road and fence maintenance, ATV riding, and eating an amazing meal. This is the only time of the year that most of the Bryant's will be together.



Two years ago I ran the race and had a terrific time. Last year I felt it more important to attend the Bryant reunion, and also had a terrific time.

This morning on the run, after much chiding, I was again invited to run with my band of brothers in the Wasatch Back Relay. This is significant because others before me have dropped out for scheduling conflicts and have never been invited back into the fold. Receiving this invitation a second time is like getting a second chance at buying Red Sox season tickets. It just doesn't happen.

This brings me to my vexing dilemma. Should I go to the family reunion and see extended family that I haven't seen in exactly 1 year, or run the race that we train for all year long with "my boys"?

Where is my magic 8 ball?



All signs point to yes? What am I supposed to take from that?

1:50:57

Keeping up with tradition of posting all about a recent family trip the following blog is about our families fun trip to St. George. It's especially cool because as pointed out by my sister-in-law Becky Jo, the weather up in Salt Lake City sucked with cold temperatures and inversion. Meanwhile we were in St. George soaking up the SUN!




The temps down in St. George were terrific! We hiked around in the red rock with short sleeve shirts and the boys just LOVED being outside.



We drove down Friday morning with Aaron, Amy, and their daughter Addison. We went for a short hike at Red Cliffs and the boys loved throwing rocks in the water.



Look at the gorgeous blue sky (Becky Jo your family really needs to go to St. George).



As for the official reason we went to Utah's Dixie: The 27th Annual Painters 1/2 marathon was being held, and I had somewhat trained and was going to participate in the big run. My brother-in-law, and another running partner from my neighborhood, were all going to run the race. I wasn't in the best of shape, and the course was pretty much flat, so my expectations were just to finish. Worse case scenario would have been 2 hours 10 minutes, best guess was 2 hours, and I would never expect to beat my half marathon PR of 1:50.

Aaron ran along with me for the first 8 miles. Once he saw how fast we were going, he decided to pick it up for the last 5 miles and shoot for a PR himself. I hung back and ran my race. As I got close to mile 10 I realized that I too was on pace for a terrific race time.

Coming into the finish line, I had my family cheering me on.



Would you believe that with only a fair amount of training, I tied to the minute my 1/2 marathon PR? Well I did it! The official chip time is 1:50:57. I couldn't have been happier with my time. My race time, and the good times being had in St. George.

Winning isn't Everything; It's the Only Thing

It's been said by those who know me that I am somewhat of a competitive person. Maybe it comes from when I was a child and I ruthlessly beat everyone who dared play me in Connect Four. No other 3rd grader at Washington Elementary would dare play me because they really never had a chance. Even adults wouldn't want to play me. Looking back I'm not sure if it was my amazing Connect Four skills, or the in-your-face attitude I had with my competition.

As I progressed through the years, I enjoyed beating the tar out of the other children in my class in the math bowl. Somehow I got the hang of multiplication and intimidated other kids... they didn't have a chance.

Any discussion of competition must include church basketball. As a teenager I wasn't the best player on the team, but always contributed to our stake and region victories. Other wards in our stake always knew they were competing for 2nd place each year because 1st place would always belong to the 3rd Ward.

As a Missionary for my church I remember a young member boy threw rocks at us one day. He wasn't even coming close to hitting us. Naturally I had to throw a rock at him and show him how to "hit the target." 6 stitches and a sucker later, I really showed him.

Which brings me to my current dilemma.



For Christmas Logan got Candyland. Obviously a game which requires no skill and cunning. Simply draw a card, hope for a double color, and stay away from the sticky licorice boxes that require you to loose a turn. Logan always likes to be the winner. The thing is he always wins! Just when I get ahead of him and I think I will beat him, I draw the candy cane card and have to go back to the middle of the board, and he wins again.

In a game of chance you would think that the law of averages would eventually catch up to Logan. He can't continue to win in a game of chance can he? After about 15 games I have yet to score a victory.

Obviously as the bigger person, I should loose most of the time to let the 4 year old boost his confidence. But I wouldn't be doing a very good job as a father if I didn't teach him how to loose graciously. As a responsible father I owe it to him to teach him to loose with dignity. The trouble is, he keeps winning.

Would it make me feel better if I beat him in Chess?

Cha Cha Chia

Jill and I are pretty much in accord when it comes to child rearing. We're very much on the same page in most aspects of our children's lives. But rather than blog about all of the many things that we agree on, it's much more interesting to blog about the small thing (singular) that we happen to differ about.

When you think about the phrase "Saturday Morning", it means different things for different people. As a young girl, Jill was finally able to sleep in on Saturday mornings. When she woke up, her mother had a hot breakfast ready, and then she would go back to bed to dive into a favorite book (can you say Babysitters Club?).

To me Saturday meant something entirely different. My mother wouldn't let me get up any earlier than 6:00 a.m. So I would wake up and watch the clock move until it finally read 6:00 a.m. It was then that I could leave my bedroom and dash to the front room where I could sit mesmerized by Saturday morning cartoons (Smurf's were Smurferific) Sometimes I would watch beyond the animated shows to Land of the Lost, those sleestack were so scary.



Here is the crux of our disagreement. Jill feels that there are so many worthwhile things for children to do that they shouldn't waste time in front of the television. My thoughts are, all week long children engage in worthwhile activities, Saturday morning should be a time for them to veg for a while and soak up their father's tradition.

For the time being, Jill has agreed to let the boys watch a little t.v. Saturday morning. We have a very giving relationship. I keep walking her way, and she keeps walking mine. We meet in the middle.... to raise some pretty great boys.

Sunday morning came a very proud moment in my life. As our family got into the van, Logan began singing "Cha Cha Chia" (you all know how the song goes, now please re-read the last sentence and sing when you read it). I couldn't believe my ears. "How do you know that song?" I asked. "It was on the commercial," was his reply.

It was a beautiful moment for me. I'm so glad that he and I have even one more thing in common. By the way, who would have thought Chia Pets would still be for sale 30 years after I saw their commercials? I have never met anyone who actually owns one.

As this Saturday morning tradition evolves, soon Logan will move away from cartoons and together we will be able to watch This Old House together. If Chia Pets can be on my t.v. for 30 years, I certainly expect Bob Villa can make it that long.

I know everyone watched Bob Ross. May he rest in peace.

The Reason For The Season

To truly understand how Christmas affected my son Logan last year you would have to know that EVERYDAY for 9 months he would say, "I want that for Christmas". It was one of the most impressionable events of his life. And for a youngster of 3 years old, it makes perfect sense. In fact if it didn't have that impression on him, I would be worried.

So this year as we began to decorate for Christmas, thoughts of presents immediately leaped into Logan's thoughts.... and words. He loves Christmas for the presets. Of course he loves to see his cousins especially the the boys from Omaha who he doesn't get to see very often. And we see the grandparents more often than usual through the holidays, and both boys love to see their grandparents.

A week ago I went home teaching to a family who has a daughter only a few months younger than Logan. She was just young enough last year that she didn't so much remember all the cool loot you get from Santa. This family has been focusing on the birth of Christ this season. They have taught their daughter about the nativity, the humble beginnings of our Savior, and the importance of giving this time of year. This young girl never so much as asked for a single thing, because she didn't understand that Santa was going to bring her fun toys.

A few days prior to my home teaching visit Logan and his girl friend played together. Wouldn't you know that when this young girl went home, the first thing she told her mother was, "I want Diego Safari Rescue for Christmas", "I want a Lightning McQueen Racetrack for Christmas" and I want a "big, big, big, dinosaur." Leave it to my child to corrupt the purity of the Christmas holiday for this young girl.

This story got me to think about the true meaning of Christmas. Of course the true meaning of Christmas is all about the birth of the Savior of the World, the Prince of Peace. His birth is a way for the world to celebrate His gift to all the world. It is because of Him that we are all able to be forgiven of our sins and shortcomings, to return to His presence and live with our Father in Heaven.

The time in my life that I was able to reflect on this true meaning of Christmas the most, was when I was in the Missionary Training Center. This is a place where the world is closed off to young missionaries. Missionaries go there to study the gospel and language before they go out to preach the gospel to all the world. Inside the Missionary Training Center there was zero outside influence to secular Christmas. I never once saw Santa the Christmas of 1992. We were able to sing Christmas songs, but only the ones in the Hymn Book. The mall was off limits.

If I counter the Christmas of 1992 to the Christmas of today, there are many stark differences. This year I have two young boys who LOVE Santa. They can't get enough of what the holiday offers. They love to see the Christmas lights decorating the homes in our neighborhood. The Christmas Tree is something they fight over to be the one to light the tree. They have seen Santa twice now and LOVE him. Logan even cried when we left from seeing Santa because "We didn't say goodbye and Santa will miss me."

Commercialism plays a major role in this holiday, and I would like to go on public record to say that's not an entirely bad thing. Seeing the happiness of a child at Christmas is one of the highlights of being a father. Taking children to the mall and letting them sit on Santa's lap is priceless. Watching the excitement children have in anticipation of opening presents, is something I enjoy at Christmas.

Certainly Christmas is a wonderful holiday. It's the happiest time of the year. I suggest that it is such a happy time because of a combination of Christ's birth and the Spirit of Santa. Certainly our non Christian brothers and sisters love Christmas for what Santa brings on December 25th. And Christian zealots are justified in saying, "without Christ there would be no Christmas." Our family feels doubly blessed because as for me and my house, we celebrate both.